My husband won’t stop cheating

Dear Pastor,

I have been living with a man for three and a half years. He assists me in my business, but he still finds time to cheat on me. He denies that he is cheating, but I am not a fool. He is always finding time to go out with his friends, and he comes home late at nights. He tells me that I am miserable, so he has to stay away from me.

I became suspicious that this man was cheating when he lost his cell phone. Someone called my number and asked for him. I asked the person how she got my number, and she told me that she saw it in his phone. Both of them had been travelling together in a taxi when his phone fell out of his pocket without him noticing. She only realised that she had his phone when the taxi dropped her home and she saw it on the seat.

I have tried to treat this man very well. I have gone to clubs with him and allowed him to dance up a storm. I don’t dance, but I sat in one of the clubs and watched as my husband enjoyed watching the girls strip down to their strings. Now, every time I miss him, he is at one of these clubs. I don’t know what to do with this man.

I must tell you the truth: I love this man so very much. I have two girls working in my business, and he got one of them pregnant. He stole some of the business money and gave it to the girl so she could have an abortion. The girl admitted that he gave her the money because she did not want to carry the pregnancy.

When I asked the girl why she did that to me, she said he told her that he was going to leave me because I had gained too much weight and he was no longer attracted to me. He told me that the girl was lying, but I believed that she was telling the truth. I had to fire the girl.

This man has got away with a lot of things. My parents have told me to get rid of him, but although he is so dishonest, he has his uses. What hurts me the most is that he got involved with one of my workers, and now he is blaming me for what he did.

The only thing I have not done to please this man is bring another woman into our relationship for us to have a threesome. He has suggested it, but I have told him no. He has admitted to taking the money so that the girl could have an abortion.

What do you think I should do?

W.

Dear W,

You have already said that you do not want to leave this man, so you do not need to ask me for my opinion.

You are not the first woman to accompany her man to strip clubs. You have gone with this man because you feel that you are lacking something, and accompanying him there would give him an extra thrill. Your weight has nothing to do with his behaviour; he is only using it as an excuse to justify his actions.

The man is a thief, and every thief should be in prison. That is how I see it.

Pastor